youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
