maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
