I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
That accounts for only three of the penises
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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