you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
