is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize