The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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