I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
