Got a toothbrush?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize