are you still at the devil's house?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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