I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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