he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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