It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
