Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
