Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
