The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
