she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
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There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
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You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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