I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
