Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
