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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
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