Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize