I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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