Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
