why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
