But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
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An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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