and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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