at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
