I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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