Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
