woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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