If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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