If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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