why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
