Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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