My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize