Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My feet surprised me
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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