just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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