I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
This beer is not sobering me up at all
So many bounce houses so little time
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
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