Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
