Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
