Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
