If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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