Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
