I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The dick lei will go down in squad history
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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