I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
