who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
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I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
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