Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
