I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Why is your signature on my underwear?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
