soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
