Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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