I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It all started with a game of naked twister.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
