I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
