Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
