He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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