Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize