I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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